Counseling the Heart - Entering Another’s World | Apr 01st 2007
by Stephen Trout
If the Gospel is changing me to incarnate the love of Christ in my relationships, how will that look? Four words are especially worth noting: Enter, Incarnate, Identify, Accept.
(You might recognize these from Tripp’s “Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands”)
A quick word today on what it might look like to “Enter” another’s world…
Enter: Brokenness, frustration, and sin (obvious or not so obvious) are opportunities to engage more than a problem, but a real person; to listen, look, and ask some questions to get beneath the surface issue to how that person’s heart is struggling, learn what they are really trusting in, and how you can compassionately incarnate (put flesh on) the love of Christ to them. Here’s a good example Tripp uses:
Imagine you had an important appointment that you missed because you were held up in traffic. How would you feel if you told your friend, only to have him respond with a lecture on the fact that you took the wrong way and that he learned years ago that there was a much more efficient route that you could have taken? Would you be frustrated with a response like that? Of course you would! As Tripp notes, “His responses may have had some logical connection to the facts you shared, but they weren’t helpful because they didn’t connect with the impact of the situation on your heart and life.” You’d begin to wonder, “Did he just hear me? Does he even care to try to identify with my frustration or pain? Show concern for my struggle?” Yet God does more than say to us, “well you paid the price for your mistake!”
But what if that friend first assured you that you’re heard (as God always hears His children - He’s a perfect Father), and then proceeded to lead your heart to a big God that understands and identifies with all forms of suffering and pain…what a difference that would begin to make! What a first step that would be toward building your trust in that gracious God who works out everything for your ultimate good! Unfortunately, we are too quick to “counsel the problem,” and not the person. Moralism, legalism, and self-righteouness all tend to lead to that end, instead of to our seeing a glorious and powerful Christ, and strengthening faith in Him!